Saturday, November 29, 2008
Mo and I are up in Walla Walla, Washington visiting his family and so far we've had a great time. We left Wednesday from Springfield at 4 pm and due to the horrendous holiday traffic didn't even make it to Salem until 6 pm. Normally that drive is about an hour. It was terrible. We decided at that point that we needed a break from the holiday traffic so we stopped in Salem and found the Sonic for dinner. We managed to get back on the road about at about 7 and for the rest of the trip traffic was a breeze. Between Troutdale and the Dalles though we hit wind gusts around 45 to 50 miles an hour and I came really close to wetting my pants. It was scary, Mo's poor little Mazda was getting its butt kicked on the freeway. I almost made him pull over, but he called me a sissy and we kept on driving. Once we passed through the Dalles everything was fine and I was even able to sleep some in the car. We made it into Walla Walla at about midnight, hugged the parents and went straight to bed.
This year the Torrescano family had plans to fit everyone in one house in the Tri-Cities area, which is about an hour from Walla Walla. Grandpa T has been sick as of late and we all wanted to be together to spend time with him and Grandma T. Everyone in the family was signed up to bring something and our task was "munchies" which my wonderful mother-in-law took care of for the most part. She only asked that we buy some chips and a few kinds of olives which made it super easy for us. I also recently obtained an amazing recipe for Pumpkin Chocolate Chip cookies so I decided I would add those to our little list too. Most of Thanksgiving morning was spent baking a double batch of those cookies which was well worth it.
The plan was for everyone to meet in Tri-Cities at Aunt Josie's house and then we would drive to her church to take a family picture. We got everything packed up and loaded in dad's (my father-in-law) truck and we all four headed off to Josie's. Not once did I think about the fact that I hadn't eaten all day except for cookies and cookie batter. When we arrived at Josie's, I experinced one of my most favorite parts of spending time with the Torrescano family. The hugs. Before I even stepped through the door I was greeted by cousins and aunts and uncles and each one gave me a wonderful bear hug. By the time I made it through the door and up the small flight of stairs and into the living room I easily had hugged 15 to 20 family members. Each one had something nice to say and almost made me feel like we were the guests of honor. After the hugs and greetings we waited for mom and dad to change into their picture clothes and back into the truck we piled. Even Mo's brother Nic changed into some nicer clothes for the pictures.
Josie's church was spectacular to say the least. It had a huge gorgeous fountain in the courtyard and when you walked into the worship hall the "stage" area had huge plate glass windows with man made rock water falls behind them. It wasn't anything like the modest curches I was used to being in.
We spent about an hour or so taking pictures which I will post once we get them on the computer. We all had a great time between everyone tripping over the same step and trying to figure out the delay settings on the cameras. Eventually though we all started to realize how hungry we were. It was finally time to head back and prepare the feast!
I'll continue this post a little later, right now I'm hungry and dad and Mo just took off for golfing. I think mom and I are going to hang out for a bit and maybe go over to help make tamales for dinner. Its a big Torrescano tradition.
Monday, October 20, 2008
I made those. We had huge 2 to 6 ton machines/presses that melted the plastic beads in a barrel and then shot them into these molds and they went out on conveyor belts and were sometimes run through machines that put barcode labels on them. Not that complicated really. MY job there was as a material handler. I operated a forklift, wrapped huge pallets full of boxed handles, and kept track of colors and jobs that we were running at any given time. It was a pretty stressful job. I liked what I did, but had a hard time dealing with the fact that everyone else around me was mother f-ing lazy. I was constantly cleaning up after people, finishing things they should have done and fixed their mistakes. The shift supervisor was a jerk and I just never felt like he was there to back me up. I worked my ass off for that place and when I asked for a raise they told me I had to wait 3 MORE MONTHS for my yearly review to get it. So I started looking for another job. They could just get f-ed for all I cared.
Here are a couple pics of what we did when we got bored....yes thats about the size of the pallets I had to wrap and store in the warehouse.....
Well my friend Rochelle knew how frustrated I was with my current situation. Since I was actively searching for a new job, she proofread my resume before I sent it out anywhere. I'm not gonna lie, its pretty good. Being the WONDERFUL friend that she is, she asked if I was okay with her slipping it to her general manager to see if he'd be interested in me. She worked at a local big corporation scrap metal yard and a girl in the sales office would be going on maternity leave soon. It was right up my alley, considering I had worked in parts sales at some local quad dealerships in the past. To make a long story short, they LOVED my resume. I mean, who wouldn't? They had me in for an under the radar interview and evidently I impressed the pants off the GM and after a few weeks they gave me a call and had me in for a 2nd interview. I met the steel sales manager, who is now one of my all time favorite people in the world, and he seemed to like me too. Within a week or two they offered me the job, with the understanding that it was just temporary. Prego girl would have her baby and eventually come back. But who cares! I was getting out of that hell hole and going somewhere I wasn't going to beat the crap out of my body anymore. And there was hope that I might end up getting a permanent job with the company by the time prego came back. I gambled on it, and gave up 3 years of steady employment, vacation pay, and quarterly bonuses on the chance I might not have a job in 4 to 6 months. Pretty much the dumbest thing you've ever heard of right? I think so too. But I did it anyways.
Making that gihugic (giganticly huge) leap into the unknown might have been one of the best decisions I've ever made. Other than marrying my husband, that is. I had a great time working in that scrap yard. I met some wonderful people and learned alot of things that I can use in the future. I also realized that in my last job, I'd been a stark raving bitch. I was over worked, over stressed, and I was taking it out on other people. Its amazing my poor husband put up with me. Then again, we work opposite shifts so we never saw each other. This new job, which basically consisted of me sitting on my ass, turned me back into the person I once knew. If my work didn't get done, the only person it affected was me. I could leave something on my desk at the end of the day and know that the next morning it would be exactly as I had left it and if anything had been screwed up, the only one I had to blame was me! It was great, and I learned to enjoy going to work again. (Yea, weird concept)
Evantually though my little story book romance with my job had to come to an end. I applied twice for internal positions at this place and twice I was turned down. There wasn't any specific reason, it just didn't seem to be in the cards for me. Then the news came. I had 5 weeks to find another job. Prego (well not so prego anymore) would be back Oct 10th from maternity leave.
I started trying to sell myself again. Unsuccessfully I might add. And the panic started to set in. Not sure if anything would come of it or not, I called the temp agency that I was working through for the scrap yard and told them my assignment would be finished soon. The woman that answered seemed extremely excited about the fact I was so proactive about finding a position and said they would work hard to find me a job. I emailed her my resume and crossed my fingers. After about a week or 2 I emailed her again to touch bases. Turns out she was the Operations Manager for the ENTIRE company and the manager for the Springfield branch wanted to interview me. Holy sh*t! I think I almost peed myself when I read the email. Basically, to sum it all up. We met, they loved me, and I got laid off a week early at the scrap yard. The following Monday, without having made an offer, the manager at the staffing company called me at 8:30 am (yep I was still sleeping. Isn't that what the unemployed do?) and asked me to come in. I've been there ever since and absolutely love it. My coworkers are great and my manager cracks me up. I'm the front desk receptionist at this point, aka The Director of First Impressions. Funny sh*t huh? But I'm good at it and I anticipate better things in my future.
Okay I'm working on a follow up on my fear post, so hopefully in the next few days. I'll try to be a better blogger, I promise! Thanks for the kick in the butt Angel, I needed it! Oh, and I apologize for the cursing. I tried to edit but you know.....
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
As a kid I lived in constant anxiety over angering my father and getting introuble, or the fear that my parents would fight yet again. At that time it wasn't a "condition" but a fact of life, we were constantly walking on eggshells with our mentally abusive alcoholic father. So now, as an adult, could this anxiety be growing from the seed planted so many years ago? After my father left, I don't remember feeling anxious or worried about things until a few years ago. For the most part I was fearless and indestructable as teenagers and young adults can be. I drank a lot, drove drunk, partied, and rode quads like I'd never die. These days I really truely only get anxious when I feel out of control of a situation, like being a passenger in a car or riding my horse. Sometimes I can control my anxiety and other times its paralyzing. I not only get anxious over things, but I'll actually play out little horrifying scenes in my head. For instance, the car careening around the corner and slamming into a tree when all we're doing is cornering just a little too fast. These scenarios play out all the time, and its uncontrollable. I imagine my horse climbing a hill, losing her footing and both of us stumbling to our death. Or jumping a log and I fly out of the saddle to split open the other side of my head. How do I stop this? Should I medicate myself to slow my heart rate, stop the shaking in my legs and the horrible visions in my head? Something needs to be done. It just isn't a trust issue anymore, its downright scary and I can't live this way.
Saturday and Sunday were not my best days. I feel bad for Summer. She's a great horse But I'm a nutcase and she feeds off of it. Saturday morning my friend Kirsten and her friend Katie came out to my barn and we loaded the horses up and headed for Florence. I have always wanted to ride horses at the beach so I was really excited. Summer loaded just fine and the drive to the coast went well. We got to Baker Beach Road and unloaded all three horses and let them munch on some hay before we tacked up for our ride. I was a little nervous but not my usual anxiousness so I tried to settle in and ignore it for a bit. Once we were saddled up, I found a rock to stand on and swung into the saddle. Immediately my heart started pounding, my legs became water and all over I was just uneasy. It was like a wave hit me. Summer felt it too. Her whole body tensed up underneath me and another wave slammed into my body. We went forward anyways.
Out on the trail, Summer's head flung up, her ears perked forward and her eyes bugged out. The wind was howling around us and everything looked like it might possibly like to eat her for dinner. I think we were both pretty close to turning tail and running back to the trailer for safety. We followed Katie and Kirsten down the trail and Summer insisted on trying to trot everywhere in the sand. I tried to stop her and back her up to get her attention but she'd grab the bit and run right through it. She was NOT about to get left behind and gave me a great big hell no on the whoa request. Kirsten and Katie could see what a hard time I was having so we stopped and Kirsten jumped on her for a few minutes. She circled her and backed her and tried to get her attention but her head was somewhere else apparently. Kati jumped on and took her down the trail to wear her out. Kirsten and I waited, and waited, oh and waited some more. Did I forget to mention that I've been riding Summer practically 6 days a week so she isn't that easy to tire out now? Especially when she's amped up like she was. As we sat there Kirsten suggested I get on her great big black and white paint gelding Dakota and see if I felt comfortable enough on him. I was trying to get out of it but finally walked him over to a tree stump and got in the saddle. His nickname is Stretch, and boy did he earn that. He was extremely comfortable though and I rode him around in a few circles and relaxed. Kirsten swung up onto Jazz, Katie's chocolate palomino mare, and we set off to find Katie and Summer.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
My best friend Delacy and my other friend Lacy board at the same barn I do. We’ve all been friends for a long time and are pretty much sisters at this point so we’d do anything for each other. Delacy has a 17 year old dark bay Thoroughbred mare named Lulu that is stalled right next to my mare Summer. Lulu was due to foal on April 17th and she had been bred to a Paint stallion that belonged to a client of Delacy’s. Gorgeous black and white by the name of Gallant’s Secret Wepn....I think. Anyways, Lulu has had 3 foals previously and never had a problem. She prefers people are around her when she foals and won’t foal alone. I think her 3rd foal was even a draft cross and there were no issues. She was super big through most of this pregnancy but she seemed fine and had even originally conceived twins but the vet had aborted one of the fetuses just to be safe. She was ultrasounded afterwards to make sure the fetus was aborted and the vet said she would be fine. Delacy wasn’t concerned about her being overdue because Lulu has carried her 1st 3 foals for a full 12 months rather than the usual 11. Well Delacy’s dad fell ill in California and was in a coma that required life support so Delacy had to leave early Thursday morning to be down there just in case he had to be taken off. Before she left she told us that if Lulu foaled we were NOT to contact her for any reason and she would just prefer to find the baby in her stall on Sunday when she returned. We kept an eye on her Thursday night and you could tell she was getting close. She was very swollen and waxed up but not doing her usual stall pacing like Delacy had described. Neither Lacy or I stayed the night out there then but knew we needed to keep a close eye on her just in case. On Friday night we noticed that her teats were leaking milk like faucets and decided to hang out as long as possible and see if she had any other early labor signs. The inside of her vulva was bright red but she wasn’t leaking any fluid so when it rolled around to 1:30 am I decided to go home and see my husband for a few hours and Lacy stayed to keep watch on her. At about 5:40 am saturday morning I got a call from Lacy that Lulu’s water had broken and I needed to get out there ASAP. When I reached the barn part of the sack was out and one tiny little white hoof was peeking out. Lulu was VERY restless. She was up and down and pacing her stall. It took a few minutes to notice but suddenly we realized that the one little white hoof didn’t look right. At first Lacy thought it was a hind foot, but upon closer inspection I saw a second hoof pushing out at the very top of her vulva. We immediately called the vet who lived at least 30 minutes away from our barn. He said he’s be right out. As we nervously waited for him we tried to keep Lulu calm and stop her pushing but that was almost impossible to do. She KNEW something wasn’t right. Whenever she’d lay down she’d roll over on her back in an effort to get the baby turned in the right position. The vet reached us in 15 minutes. We stood her up and he reached inside to see how the foal was positioned and confirmed our fears, it was in fact upside down. He attempted to turn the foal but was unable to. He gave Lulu a slight tranquilizer to calm her and we got her to lay back down. This is only the second foaling I’d ever watched so I really had no idea what to expect so I didn’t notice alot of things right off the bat so bear with me.....He went and got some lube and a pump and a bucket of water and pumped as much of the lube into her as possible. He then attempted to turn the foal again. by this time you could see both hooves up to the fetlocks and the sac was still intact. He broke the sac and started pulling on the foals legs with her contractions. Slowly he got the foal up to his knees and we could see a little black and white nose. This is about when everything seemed to go even more terribly wrong. Lulu wouldn’t stay in one place and we kept having to rotate her body around to give the vet more room to move. He kept cursing and suddenly jumped up and ran to his truck, coming back with some chains. He looped them around both legs of the foal and began pulling as hard as he could. Eventually he asked one of us to help him and we were able to get the foal out as far as its withers. It had been a full hour at this point and it was obvious the foal was not alive. We were all crying by now. The vet jumped up again and came back with what looked like a large jack that he tried bracing against Lulu’s butt with to pull the baby out but couldn’t get enough room and wasn’t able to keep it stable. We decided to get her up and out of the stall to see if he could do it outside the barn. Lulu stood and walked out the barn with this beautiful little foal dangling lifelessly behind her. When we got her outside the vet attempted again to use the chains and pull the foal out but it was still stuck. Lulu’s mouth was bleeding, she had bitten her tongue at some point during the ordeal. The vet asked us to bring her back into the barn. He said he could do one more thing to save Lulu but we weren’t going to like it. I asked him what that was. He said he’d have to take the baby out in pieces. He heavily sedated her and set to work. I stayed outside the stall and didn’t watch but occasionally I’d hear some horrific sucking noises and my friend Lacy would walk out with blood all over her hands. They had taken a long wire and cut the baby in half at the shoulders. At one point the vet asked for a hay hook, and only God knows why he needed that. When they couldn’t get the 2nd half out they removed all of the organs and the vet practically broke his hand trying to free the hips from Lulu’s pelvic bone. Suddenly Lacy went flying by me dragging the hindquarters behind her. The vet emerged from the stall covered in blood. He had saved Lulu. She had torn a little and retained some of the placenta but she’d be ok. After a while she awoke and we slowly walked her outside so we could clean her stall. She whinnied and called for the baby that could never answer. My mare and her foal were out in the arena and she almost went crazy when she heard the filly whinny. After talking it over we decided we’d take her to where her baby lay and let her sniff and mourn. She was pretty calm about it and sniffed and licked and nudged it. We all cried as we watched her attempt to wake the baby but eventually she realized it was impossible and began eating grass. We took her back to her clean stall after rinsing her down and she stood sadly in the middle, but she no longer called for her baby. My husband spent 5 hours digging a proper grave in a back pasture and we buried the colt that day. I balled when he laid him in the grave and arranged him so that he was "whole" again. We buried him and returned to the barn. They had measured the carcass before we buried it and the colt was 10 hh at the but. Without his leg being properly stretched out. He was huge. I still see those images in my head and I’m not sure they’ll ever go away. I am just so thankful Delacy didn’t have to see her mare go through that and will hopefully never think of that colt as anything but the beautiful whole baby we described to her. She knows everything that happened and made us tell her before she got home. She handled it well and if its possible we’re all even closer now than we were before. She’s also never breeding Lulu again.I’m sorry this was so long but I hope before you think about breeding your mare because you’d like to have a baby out of her, or you think it would calm her down, please think about how much of a risk you are taking. And what a horrific event it could be. I was so lucky my mare had an easy birth. She was one of the lucky ones. But I’ll never take the gamble again. I love her too much and it just isn’t worth it.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
On the lighter side my nephews are visiting so Tuesday night we went out to see Summer and Kaia and all three boys rode Summer. I couldn't believe it! Ethan, the 7 year old, is just really starting to get into horses and he has a natural seat and absolutely loves to be around them. He can be pretty fearless at times so I try to keep my eye on him. Austin, the 9 year old, likes them but the few times he has sat on Summer was pretty scared and would jump and look frightened at her slightest movement. I've always had to lead her around for him while he white knuckles the saddle horn. Ethan on the other hand loves to ride Summer by himself and I let him steer but I clip my lunge line on a halter under her bridle just in case. He is pretty small for his age and wouldn't have enough muscle to stop her if she decided to be a brat. Little Kellen is 2 and loves the horses but we've tried several times before to have him sit on Summer or different horses but he always cries and gets upset so this time I let him decide whether he wanted to ride. He wanted to be the first! We put his helmet on and lifted him up into the saddle and his tiny little hands gripped onto the horn and this great big grin spread across his face. Not once did he hesitate or look scared. Summer and I walked him all over the arena and he loved it. Next was Ethan's turn. He wanted to get in the saddle all by himself so bad but Summer is pretty tall compared to the pony he rode before so we boosted him up and off he went. Summer was so good for him. Its funny how some horses just KNOW when there is a kid in the saddle. Her head drops and she gets this sleepy look on her face and everything about her just relaxes. She'll walk all over for him and stop and turn and not once does she even think about breaking into a trot like she does for me. Ethan wanted to go faster so we tied up her reins so they wouldn't drag and I lunged her around me at a walk, trot, then a canter for just a few strides so he could see what it was like. His tiny little butt was bouncing all over in the saddle but he hung on and even Summer didn't mind. She looked so collected and smooth in her trot I almost didn't recognize her. Who is this horse? She even did well for Austin and he hasn't taken any lessons. He suprised me big time by wanting to ride by himself, he even looked confident and relaxed up there asking her to move around the arena.
Its funny how we can saddle her up, put a kid on her, and her head drops and she acts like an old dead broke pony but I can get on her 10 minutes later and her head pops up and its GO TIME. Put little Kellen in my lap and her head goes back down. She loves kids. I just wished she loved me that much all the time. I've got another trainer coming out Friday night and I'm going to watch her work some of Kristy's horses and then take a lesson from her and see if I like her. So hopefully she'll be able to help us some.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Tonight went much easier than I expected. I brought Summer in, tacked her up and took her into the arena without her so much as turning an ear to her hollering baby. She lunged really well and even seemed more relaxed than normal. I tightened her girth, slipped on her bridle and she stood quietly in the middle of the arena for me to climb in the saddle. Her ears were perked forward in the direction of the "suffering" foal but she stayed quiet and still until I asked her to move forward. We walked calmly on the rail and she did turn hr head several times but didn't even act up when we watched the stallion being led into his stall. Its like she acknowledged it was time. I think she's ready for me to conecentrate on her and only her. Is that possible?
We finished our ride with her only calling out to Kaia once and she only squatted one time, for a mare. But in her defense the stallion had just ben in that field so maybe she still smelled him. Then again maybe she thought the mare was cute. When I left the barn tonight Summer was happily munching hay in her stall and Kaia was eating her dinner with her new friend Yogi in the pasture. Not one of them looked stressed one bit.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
And Thor is my beautiful Rottweiler princess.
I loved them both but something was missing. One morning, after work, I was browsing our local Craigslist and decided I needed something to do in the morning to keep myself busy before bedtime. I posted an ad saying I was willing to help around someone's property just for the chance to be around horses and learn a thing or two. Within a few days this wonderful couple had emailed me and said they might be able to help me. My husband and I drove out to their property a few days later.
Ravell had an inviting, warm smile and a passion for his horses I immediately loved. Julia's girlish blonde ponytail and sparkling blue eyes accompanied by her quiet demeanor set me at ease right away. They walked us around their farm and introduced us to each horse. Tornado the 5 year old Friesian stallion, Velvet the 2 year old Friesian/Thoroughbred cross filly, Beauty the black Quarter Horse mare, Flicka the 11 year old Quarter Paint mare, and Flicka's 4 year old daughter Princess. Each horse was beautiful and unique and it was wonderful just to be near them. This was all new to my husband but it was like wrapping up in a comfortable old childhood blanket for me. I had loved horses for so long and now I was going to be able to work around them and possibly even ride! We discovered that day that although we loved to sit and talk with Ravell and Julia that we would definitely need a plan of action every time we visited if we wanted to be out of there in time. I think we spent almost an hour and a half that first time just trying to leave. Before we left though I agreed to come out 3 times a week to help clean stalls, feed, and work with the horses. Flicka, the big gorgeous sorrel mare with the blaze shaped like Woody Woodpecker, would receive special attention from me. I couldn't wait.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
The majority of my postings will be about horses. I've loved them my whole life but up until a year ago I had never had my own. My parents never had the money or means to let me have one so I suffered through collecting model horses and living vicariously through my friends whose parents were able to let them have horses or take lessons. There was even a time in my desperation to own a horse that I showed my collectible Breyers and had a great time of it although now I won't admit that in public. I did take lessons when I was 12 and worked them all off by cleaning stalls, feeding chickens and general barn cleanup but unfortunately at that age I just didn't have the work ethic it took to continue doing what I was doing. These days at 25 almost 26 years of age I have finally grown up and thanks to my wonderful, amazing, and tolerant husband I now have a horse of my own. Its the greatest thing on Earth. But the journey to get here was an ugly one. I learned alot though and even though my mare isn't perfect to industry standards, she's perfect for me and I love her.
Summer is a 5 or 6 year old Quarter/Paint mare that a friend found for me last year. She was not registered at the time and I knew absolutely nothing about her background. The lady I bought her from is a Paint breeder and although she loved Summer she just didn't fit into her breeding program so she decided to sell her. I had already had some bad experiences with 2 previous horses I had leased (more info later) so I was really nervous to go check out Summer but my friend said she was a really nice quiet mare that just needed more time put on her. Amother thing that worried me about her was that she was bred and I had NO IDEA what to do with a foal. I drove out there anyways. The first time I rode her was scary. She was a fast walker when she's nervous and had almost no "whoa" because her mouth was really HARD. She also had this horrible habit of tossing her head and chomping on the bit constantly. Her name then wasn't Summer but Beauty and it just didn't fit her. I wasn't ready to buy her right then because of our financial situation but wanted to free lease her with the option to buy. I went back two more times after that and rode her both times. Each time we both calmed down a little more and by that 3rd ride I had already decided her new name would be Summer. She has this gorgeous thin blaze on her face that looks to me like a lightning bolt and the first thing I thought of was how lightning looks during a summer storm. So after that 3rd ride I had tied her up and was finishing untacking her when I went to pull her bridle off. At that very same time she turned her head, looked me in the eye and then laid her head on my left shoulder. Right then and there I knew she was mine. I brought her home on July 3rd of last year, so exactly a year ago today. We had a lease contract where I would keep her for 2 months and then decide whether I wanted to buy her or not. If I decided I liked her I would make payments and then have her paid off by March of 2008. She is now fully mine and has a 3 month old filly at her side. We'll be going to our first show in August at the county fair and I am so excited. And scared to death. But thats a post for another day.
Well tomorrow is a holiday and I'm leaving for Washington tonight after work so I won't blog again for a few days. Have a great 4th of July!